Actually, I'm exhausted.
I don't even know why sometimes why I feel so drained. You would think now that I've spent 24/7 in my home for just about a month, some days doing the bare minimum, that I would feel energized and refreshed.
Isn't this the staycation I was asking for?
When I first found out that I'd be spending the foreseeable future at home, not "working," focused on growing my business and taking care of my family, I felt like WOW, it's finally happening. I can have a break from running around and finally focus on what matters. Hey, I'll even start a hobby, or two, or THREE! Just think of how much ART I can create with this time...and how much time I can spend writing! This is going to be so great BECAUSE I'm going to be productive. I'm going to use my time wisely. I'm going to cook dinner every night and keep my house in tip top shape. Oh goody, I can finally clean out the closets!
Girl, please. By the end of week 1, I was asking, "Is it over yet?"
So I filled my schedule with tasks. Cleaning and reorganizing, finishing old projects and starting new ones.
I told myself, "If I just stay productive..." "If I just keep myself busy..." "This is the perfect time..." "There won't be another chance like this one..."
What sounds awesome and motivating can also be draining and soul crushing, because when I say these things to myself, I'm also simultaneously and subconsciously telling myself that REST is not okay. By saying that I have to stay productive at all times during this quarantine, I'm also confirming that doing nothing is BAD.
This is NOT TRUE.
So why am I so tired? Why am I so emotionally, mentally, and physically drained? Well maybe it's because I'm overworking MYSELF when life isn't going to do it for me, rather than reading that HUGE, flashing sign from the Universe that says, "SLOW DOWN!"
If you feel guilt or frustration because you haven't tackled that project yet, or the house isn't sparkling clean, or you haven't spent any time on that hobby you've been telling yourself you'd pick up, I'm here to tell you that IT'S OKAY. You are allowed to rest. You NEED rest.
During this time of crazy stress and uncertainty, even when we aren't PHYSICALLY doing something, we are spending emotional and mental energy just by being in this situation. Just by experiencing this global trauma that is occurring, we are using up our reserves of energy. And if all you can do today is cope with the fact that you're isolated, that the world is suffering, and that people are sick, then that is perfectly fine. Give yourself space to work through these many strange and unfamiliar feelings you're experiencing.
If you get the chance to start a new hobby or finish a project, then that is amazing and I am so proud of you! And if you don't, I'm proud of you for giving yourself time to rest!
There is no right or wrong here.
This is new territory FOR EVERYONE.
And you can't compare how you are coping with it to anyone else because we are all unique and we all cope differently. And that's okay. That's what being human is about.
Sending you love and light, always.